/, writing tip wednesday/Writing Tip Wednesday (2): A Song Written for Romance Authors?!

**You must listen to the above song to understand this post. Seriously. It won’t make any sense if you don’t. You can even listen while you read my translations below.

Okay, so this isn’t exactly a writing tip, but I heard the song, 6′ 2″ by Marie Miller on the radio recently and went…holy crud-face, this is really about writing a romance novel. I know it is. It’s like when Peter, Paul, and Mary disguised their Pot loving lyrics with magical dragons. Or Mr. Tambourine Man–I mean we all know what he was really doing. And then I had to write my translations down to hopefully help others see it in a new light.

**WARNING: this post contains mature content not suitable for those under (I don’t know 13? 16? 17? Let’s go with 17, just to be safe)

6′ 2″ by Marie Miller

A Song For Romance Authors: Translations by Julie Cross in bold brackets
Lord I’ve been prayin’
For somebody I’ve never seen
[I want to read something fresh!]And I don’t care what he looks like
As long as he loves me
[It’s your story! Write from your heart]
No I’m not particular
[I trust you, it’s going to be a great book]

But could he have blue eyes
[He probably should have blue eyes.]
Just like the sky
[The college setting is hot right now, stick with that]
And long hair
[What about a bad boy hero?]Wavy and light
[Or a reformed bad boy. I’ll accept either one]
And 6 foot 2 is my favorite height
[Can you add a few more pages of physical description of the hero?]  
But lord I don’t care what he looks like
[But he is hot, right?]

I’ve been gettin’ so lonesome
[I’m tired of the same story over and over]Waiting for him to come around
[I’m so excited for your book, it’s totally fresh]But if you’re teaching me patience
I’m willing to work this all out
[Make it just like the current hit novels, but different]            
I’ll be patient
[Just so long as you make deadline]

But could we meet by
The first of July
[Make sure the couple meets in chapter 1]
So he’ll hold my hand
[And there is sexual tension in the first meet]
As they light up the sky
[He should want her asap]
And marry me on an April night
[Don’t forget the HEA!]
But lord take your sweet, sweet time
[No rush]                    

Whatever you want
[These are only suggestions. Write the book you want to write]
Is whatever I want
[But I might want you to tweak it a bit]
I’m not particular
[Only the beginning, maybe the middle, and probably the end too. And where is that epilogue?]

So if he has green eyes
[People might not want to read the book]
That would be fine
[Except no one will buy it]
Or brown hair
[Maybe we can bend on this one]
That’s quite alright
[As long as your heroine has a dark past]
Now 6 foot 2 is my favorite height
[This is a deal breaker]      
But lord I don’t care
[I actually do care]

And could we meet by
The first of July
[I should have said this earlier, but the couple should meet on page 1]
So he’ll hold my hand
[Sex scene #1 by page 50]            
As they light up the sky
[Get creative with your orgasm descriptions, I know you have 25 but…]
And marry me oh marry me
[A wedding epilogue is a great place to introduce a new romance for the companion novel]
Marry me on an April night
[Anything over 90K words will have to be cut]But lord take your sweet, sweet time
[Your deadline is next week]
And lord I don’t care what he looks like.
[EVERYBODY cares what he looks like]       

This whole true meaning of the song made me think of this video:


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  1. Sarah Gagnon January 15, 2014 at 7:58 pm - Reply

    AWESOME post!! I love your translation of the song. Seriously brilliant!

  2. Julie Cross January 15, 2014 at 8:02 pm - Reply

    thank you!! And what can I say? It spoke to me. Like a prayer. And now I'm singing Madonna…this could go on all day.

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